Runners and The Aesthetic. (Part 1)

There's a lot of Dos and Don'ts when it comes to the appropriate running attire.

I couldn’t think of a catchy title for today’s newsletter, but I have a lot to say about running, and how to look good. It’s safe to say that it’s just as important to get a fit off when you’re out for your SLR (Sunday Long Run if you’re in the know) than when you’re lining up for an overpriced coffee from Cafe Leon Dore. Some don’t understand the complexities of pulling a fit when you’re running. They believe it’s pointless and all you need is a pair of Brooks runners and some 9” inseam shorts; but let’s be honest, why would take advice from those people? For a lot of people, running is not usually considered an inclusive community (which is totally fair to say), but with the right gear (and even with no idea), you can look the part and fit right in.

This is a part one of two (maybe more?) because next week I’m going to be writing about the progression of running fashion and how it’s taking the main stage here in 2024.

If you have the runner’s body (y’know… long and skinny), then a lot of this will come fairly naturally to you because you will look good in anything. But for the rest of us who have to think long and hard, I’m going to go head-to-toe in different garms that will help you be the hottest mfer at your local Parkrun.

I’m gonna break the garms down into three different categories:
Recovery run — These garments will be your more cost-friendly items and will most likely be garms designed for less serious running.
Interval sessions — These are your middle-of-the-road costing garments and ones that will possibly be used for more serious running
Race Day — These will be the items that might break the bank, but will definitely make you run faster (because look good run good).

Headwear:
These garments are definitely ones that’ll make your head game strong (pause). One thing I am not a fan of is reggie billed caps. I think regular caps are too long and unnecessary when you’re trying to get that sub 20 min 5k time. I definitely think headwear is important when it comes to running because if you’re like me, it gets the hair out of your face, wicks away sweat well, and protects your eyes when you’re running in the rain. Currently, my favourite hat to wear is my Gira Hat by Gyakusou (Undercover) and Nike — It’s bright and ugly which is perfect and it doesn’t fall off my head which is great.

Recover run: The North Face Free Run Hat
This one goes out to all the trail runners out there! This hat by TNF is a perfect combination of functional and aesthetic. It’s a great-looking hat that offers a large mesh on the sides to allow heat to expel easily, while still keeping you protected from the elements. There’s a huge selection of colours for you to choose from as well.

Interval Seshys: On Running Zero Cap
On gets way too much hate. Unfortunately, a lot of it has come from the buffoons who wear it, which isn’t the label’s fault as they have proven time and time again that they make great products. The Zero cap is no exception from that. Once again a short-billed cap that looks amazing in person. On the On website (that’s a weird sentence to say), the models do not do the garm justice (like bro go the hat on backwards tf?) it’s lightweight, made from great materials and it tells the real runners you know what you’re doing (even if you don’t). This hat actually comes in a similar price range to the TNF hat, but I placed it in the interval session category because I would classify this as a more ‘serious’ running garment (I felt gross saying that, I’m sorry).

Honourable mentions: I think Ciele Athletics make a lot of corny hats (five panels *vomit*), but I really like their buckets hats — Great for Australian summers and need to be sun smart!

Race Day:
I have two offerings for the race day category. The first will be an easily affordable garm (unfortunately sold out), but it’s definitely for the real (running) heads. The second is for the individuals who know what tf is up, but also got a lot of leftover funds.

Bandit Running OG Mesh Running Hat
Ok fine, you caught me! I’m beginning this category by being the biggest hypocrite alive because I dunked on stinky five panel hats, then immediately backpedalled and placed one in the race day category. But this is a product I stand by! Once again the big fk off mesh allows the heat to disperse but protects you from the elements when you’re going for that half-mara PR on a rainy winter’s day. The brim isn’t short-brimmed, but definitely not as long as you see on most running caps, and it has a sweat-wicking band on the inside for your pleasure!

Satisfy Running Peaceshell Running Cap
I did mention this cap in last week’s top picks of the week, but it’s also the garment that inspired me for today’s sletter topic. I cannot wait for my birthday because I specifically asked my wife (Borat voice), for this hat as I am not in a financial place to be copping hats at this price — I gotta win the lottery or y’all gotta start paying for this goated garment intel… but I digress. The Satisfy cap is what I would consider the perfect running hat. It’s lightweight, instant drying, short brim, and also moisture repellent so rain can bead off (don’t tell the gorp bros). It also moonlights as a regular looking cap, which I appreciate. So often we have running garments that look like they’re only meant to be worn when running. but this one hit diffy fr because it has the normal six panel (goated amount of panels btw) shape. Also, be prepared for me to mention Satisfy multiple times in today’s sletter because they do it right every single time.

Upper:
I’m going to do a mix of warm/cold weather garms. Most of the warm weather garms will sit within the recover run category because let’s face it… Short sleeves are much cheaper. I also have many more options in this category, so I'm going to try and do a rapid fire-esque style right now.

Recovery Run:
Nike Dri-fit Legend Tee — A classique that’s incredibly accessible in cost and in sizing. I’ve used this tee to print on in the past (Paris, Texas Run Club returning soon) and I don’t have any issues with them.
2XU Aero Running Tee — I enjoy this one a lot as it’s often the blanks that my run club uses for their tees. This shirt gives me less nipple chafing than the Nike tee but runs you up a similar price.
Asics Silverv Short Sleeve Tee — The most affordable tee of the pack, but these are perfect for an entry-level runner that wants a performance material that won’t break the bank.

Interval Session:
On Performance-T: On Running are once again bringing us a quality product that allows people who are a bit more serious about running to acquire garments they know will last for a long time and will give you the comfort you need. The only downside to this tee is that it comes with a $100 AUD price tag which is on the more expensive side.
Arc'teryx Norvan 7 Vest: This one goes out to all the trail runners out there. If you’re going to get serious about trail running, a vest is a must. I don’t personally see the reason to cop one if you’re road running; however, you may find it practical to have one if going for a run that’s longer than a couple hours.
Trackmith Fens Fleece: This joint will run you up a little. Tracksmith has that refined/prep feel to it, and if you’re interested in owning that preppy look while running through the fall, then this piece is for you. The fleece is made of a high quality to allow warmth for the runner, without the bulky feel.

Race Day:
Satisfy MothTech Fringe Muscle Tee:
If you’re comfortable with a more gender-fluid style of dressing, and you wanna walk the walk, then this tee from Satisfy is the one for you. It’s the perfect hot weather race day tee in comfortable cotton. Also, If you really wanna turn heads, the fringe along the bottom will draw some eyes towards your sexy lil cum gutters. It’s definitely a yes from me.

District Vision Hemp Singlet:
This 100% hemp material made singlet is perfect for breathability, and looking good. The only problem with this garm is the shrinkage that occurs over time; however, district vision combats this by making it an oversized fit. Hemp is also odour-preventing due to its antimicrobial fibres.

Tracksmith Strata Singlet:
”But Ted, you recommended a more expensive Tracksmith garment in the interval session category?” Yeah because I wouldn’t wear a fleece on race day, bro. This is the ultimate race day shirt. The Strata singlet is the lightest singlet in the Tracksmith catalogue, and it’s been proven successful as the joint is worn by many amateurs and professionals in many different disciplines from sprints to marathons.

Lower:
Ok, the lower category is going to be similar to the previous one where I’m gonna go rapid-fire vibe because there are lots of appropriate garms that one should wear in all contexts. But I will start by sharing — DO NOT WEAR SWEATPANTS WHILE RUNNING IT’S GROSS STOP THAT STOP IT NOW YOU’RE HURTING EVERYONE YOU LOVE PLEASE STOP THAT IT’S KILLING ME.

…

If you are running in colder weather just layer up with a pair of tights.

Recovery run:
Black Nylon Trail Shorts By 3Sixteen:
I couldn’t link you to the web address to cop these because… they haven’t been released yet… but they will be soon (11th of April), so that’s very cool. Andrew from 3Sixteen has been a straight shooter in the running community for a long time, so it’s only fitting that he finally drops some functional running gear. Nylon is a fantastic material to use, especially for trail running because it’s breathable, stretchy and quick drying — perfect for when you brave it in the elements. It also has that nostalgic feel to it.

Interval Seshskies:
District Vision Ripstop Layered Trail Shorts:
If raw dogging a pair of half tights isn’t your thing, then you may be interested in these layered shorts by District Vision. They have the warmth and comfort from the tights, but covers your dick and balls with the shorts — plus an extra layer never hurt nobody. Once again, District Vision are using mindful materials such as recycled fibres for the half tights, along “with a 5" ultralight Italian-milled micro-ripstop nylon shell.” That sounds hot. Anyways, these are a beautiful garm, and I was genuinely writer’s blocked because I couldn't stop thinking about how sick these look.

Satisfy Rippy 3" Trail Shorts
I am once again bringing you another layered short, but this time more slutty. The previous pair came with shorts that had a 5” inseam… but fellas… these bad boys sit at the perfect length of 2.5”. I may be biased (let’s face it, I am), but Satisfy can do no wrong — I mean hell, they dropped some denim digiprint shorts and it’s still fire (see Mariano’s points on them from last week’s top picks). I really enjoy the punk-rock-run attitude that Satisfy brings to the culture.

Race day:
Nike Dri-FIT ADV AeroSwift Half Tight:
I know this is a super affordable and accessible garm, but this is a product I stand by 100% I own multiple pairs of these because they are the most comfortable thing to run in… as long as you cut out the inside liner. I’ve worn this pair in all distances except the marathon (only because I had to carry my own gels and needed pockets) and I’ve never had any issues. Some dudes find it awkward to wear tights, but brother trust me, they’ll make your cock look good.

Also, Eliud Kipchoge wears these for his races, don’t you wanna run like Kipchoge?

Just look how cute he looks in his half tights.

I’m not going to go into shoes because it is a way more complex topic that I would love to get nerdy about, but this post is already too long and it may need to be some other time. Please understand that this list is very tongue in cheek and the categories are not to be taken seriously in any way. I’m just compiling a list of garments that I think would be useful for you if you are interested in beginning your running journey, or you need to update some of your garms because your Nike half tights have ripped six too many times.

As I said above, I’ll be continuing this series by commenting on the history of the running aesthetic, where that sits now in the current fashion zeitgeist (athleisure much? Bro just tryna recycle content fr), and where the current running/fashion landscape is currently sitting.