How To Dress for a Non-Alpha Male Summer
Time to start dressing for yourself (and for the female gaze), not for the affirmation of the self-proclaimed alpha guys in your life.
A few weeks ago I read what I consider to be the most important substack post of 2025 (early call in, I know): Trust Me, You Don’t Want to Be That Guy by Lisa Rosen. I read it, I loved it, and I shared it over and over on all my social media platform immediately where I got a plethora of responses, almost all from girls, and almost all of them saying the same thing: WHY DON’T MEN DRESS THIS WAY?
It’s a valid question.
Why don’t men dress like this more often? Is it ignorance? Or negligence? Is it because if they broke the pattern of tight polos and tight jeans and Jordans, they wouldn’t get complimented by their other bros? Is it because they’re scared of women? Who knows! I’m not here to read minds, nor am I here to lead horses to water that don’t want to drink it, or whatever the saying is. What I can do, however, is offer up some good options for things to wear this summer that will tone the #ALPHA energy down and instead make guys a little more likable, datable, and more trusting around uncovered drinks at bars.
Lets begin.
Here are some rules for what I’m calling soft boy summer (working title):
Items are meant to be understated, subtle. We aren’t doing loud prints or obnoxious logos.
Items are meant to be worn well and easily; you shouldn’t have to think about these things. You throw them on and go, and they all work together well.
Items shouldn’t be obnoxiously tight or showy. We are trying to show off your heart, not your underworked legs.
Items are not clout-driven, but instead timeless and endearing. You should be able to wear them at 20, 30, or even 40.
We’re going to reference some icons for good visuals since you’re braindead and can’t use your imagination.
Tom Selleck



The KING of dressing like a collegiate bro without the allegations, Tom has always managed to carry a really masculine energy into his outfits without becoming the stereotype that we’ve all grown to hate today.
From the top down, get yourself a nice baseball hat. I know that we have some Mets fans here but let’s be really honest here: no one can pull off an orange & blue hat. My recommendations are to stick to baseball (or other sports) teams with good, usable color schemes. You can also go the vintage route and dig through pages of eBay goodies, or just get something that looks vintage. I also think finding a hat that’s non-sports related might be cool and add some diversity to your outfits. This one says “I like the ides of motorcycles but idk how to ride one.” Nice.
Tom also managed to nail the cowboy boot look without making it tacky. You could invest $$$ in a realllll Texas pair, or instead opt for the always usable Tecovas that everyone seems to like; I’m partial to the Cartwright model. If you’re looking for something a litttttle more chic, this pair from French brand La Botte Gardiane is a bit cooler for just a little more $. Vintage works here too, but you’re going to struggle to really find a good pair online that’ll fit right so I’d suggest praying to the thrift gods and hoping for the best. Also you’ll need bootcut jeans.
In terms of tops, the way to go here is button ups. Tom has a few great options, whether it be a beefy twill shirt like this one from Buck Mason, or a chambray shirt that’ll get better with age like this one from Wythe, or a good old fashioned denim shirt (that you can’t go wrong with when you look at all the offerings from classic brand Stetson) the idea is simple: wear them big and untucked or fitted and tucked in, always with the sleeves cuffed a bit.
Harrison Ford



Harrison’s approach to a simple outfit was a little simpler: keep shirts open, keep shorts short, and keep socks off. Strange how this formula is just as efficient today as it was decades ago.
For tops, I think you can see that he did a great job of wearing more formal items in a casual and informal way. Like yeah, wear an Oxford shirt like this one from Brooks Brothers, but wear it 1/2 unbuttoned and slightly oversized. Get a chunky sweater from J Press and then wear it with shorts (we’ll get there next). Buy a nice polo that is nicely fitted to your arms but isn’t so tight that we can see your nipples upon the cool summer breeze. And wear them enough so that they’re a little faded and have some life on them, let people know you actually do things with your life.
Shorts need to be short and/or baggy. Patagonia has found this formula and perfected it with their baggies; stick to their 5” version, and black only please. Alternatively, Madewell makes an amazing fatigue version of shorts in navy (YES!!!) and green (yes) and white (ew).
Harrison made me a convert btw, this week I began raw dogging new Mocs from LL Bean like a rich white guy with a healthy 401k and a 2nd house in Nantucket. I think it’s time for you to buy a good pair of LL Bean mocs and raw dog them as well. Or you know, maybe some good black loafers from G.H. Bass or this wholecut offering from Sanders & Buck Mason or this pair from Jacques Soloviere. Wear them in until they're scuffed and dirty and no longer pristine, and then allocate them to bbq grilling service for the rest of their life.
And remember, Harrison taught us all not to take ourselves too seriously.
Jeremy Allen White



“MARIANO THE GUY FROM THE BEAR?” — Yeah.
“BUT MARIANO HIS STYLE IS SO BASIC.” — Exactly.
I’ve seen so many critiques of his outfits being too basic and boring, and those critiques come from guys who are wearing outfits that are…basic and boring. Difference here is (1) Jeremy makes it look good (2) mostly because he’s shredded and not losing time fighting on the internet and (3) he isn’t making his outfits his whole personality. OOOOOOOHHHHhhhh yeahhhhh I am sure that the guy who is making a bajillion of dollars cares about your youtube video critique. Maybe instead of worrying about what he’s wearing you should worry about why your girlfriend is drooling over his Calvin Klein ads.
(Editor’s note: No one who makes critique videos online has a girlfriend, ok.)
I want to reverse this order: let’s talk pants. Your best bet is learning how to measure your fav pair of pants and then using those measurements as a guide to buying old vintage 501’s and perhaps even the 505’s off of eBay. If you’d rather start with new jeans, skip the new stock of Levis and try some faded and loose Nudies or some big and wide Carhartts. Granted, I know the loose pant trend might not be super appealing (or even fitting) for everyone, so maybe look for straight legged jeans that won’t look silly on you when you look back at pics of yourself from ‘the golden days.’
Some sneaker options for guys who can’t do loafers but still want to avoid Jordans: buy deck shoes, or more easily, white Vans authentics. Yes, the same shoes you wore lockless in high school to Warped tour…they’re cool again. You can get the Sperry’s version here or this Moonstar version for Buck Mason here or this version by Morja’s here. Opt for white with a blue stripe in you can, and if not black is fine too. Or maybe you wanted Sambas!!! Don’t. I’d say Onitsuka Tigers Mexico 66 in yellow but everyone’s got those now, so maybe risk trying these new ones from Pompeii in green or navy.
Look. No self proclaimed alpha male bro is going to wear any of this ^^^
But that is GOOD NEWS because you shouldn’t be dressing for their affirmation, you should dressing for GIRLS TO FIND YOU COOL AND ATTRACTIVE AND GENTLE AND KIND, PER THE ATTACHED SUBSTACK POST THAT YOU PROBABLY DID NOT READ YET.
The reason why good guys dress like this ^^^ is because they’re not trying to prove anything to anyone (especially not other guys), they are just being themselves and letting their clothing choices be easy and subtle and just an extension of who they are. They’re not trying to show off their status or financial successes with what they wear; their success is in their demeanor.
I just think that in 2025, there’s a way to life and dress that puts less of an emphasis on your image and more of an emphasis on your character. When your clothing becomes secondary and is just there to be worn well and comfortably as opposed to being your defining characteristic / your whole personality, you realize how much more fun you can have without caring what other guys will think.
…and also, bro. Girls will find you HOTTER. And I think you need that in your life. I don’t, I’m married and she’s hot. But you??? You’re struggling. And that might be because you still opt to go out and about in Yeezy boosts, which also gives off some strange ‘heil’ vibes.
Also man, if you cannot trust me, trust the dozens of single & successful & attractive-but-not-as-attractive-as-my-wife-girlies who replied to me and affirmed that they wished more guys would dress like these dudes above rather than what they wear now.
Don’t be an idiot.
Have a hot sultry soft boy summer.
You’re partly right and partly wrong here. You’re right in that the guys and outfits your reference do look great, but you’re wrong that this is new. This trend towards more understated, classic American menswear has been happening for years. The “alphas” you reference don’t represent mainstream menswear at all. You’re also wrong that guys can’t pull off Mets hats. Other than the Yankees, Dodgers and Tigers, the Mets have the best hats in baseball. Surprisingly versatile.
"Why don’t men dress like this more often? Is it ignorance? Or negligence? Is it because if they broke the pattern of tight polos and tight jeans and Jordans, they wouldn’t get complimented by their other bros? Is it because they’re scared of women?"
In most cases, because we don't want to bother.
Collectively, it's in our best interests to dress as poorly as possible, given that most of us have little interest in fashion and it lowers the bar for everyone else. Same way you'll often see women look down on women who dress too well and make the rest of them put in more effort. The more everyone dresses like crap, the less effort the rest of us have to put into dressing well.
Dress like crap: keep the brotherhood strong!