Definitive Guide to (Garden) Clogs and Mules
In 2024 there are almost limitless options to choose from. Lets see what else is out there besides the obvious Croc or Birkenstock Boston.
I think you should replace your mules with gardening clogs.
Okay, let me just start by saying that if you’re looking for a deep, deep, deep dive into the Gardencore phenomenon, your best bet is to subscribe to the Sprezza substack and read their report on it here. Clayton’s managed to give a level of depth on the matter that goes way beyond whatever I’m about to offer you. I’m honestly here for one thing and one thing only: to push my agenda against Birkenstocks and Crocs forward.
No, no that’s not actually true.
I don’t actually hate Birkenstocks and Crocs, I just think there are so many other options out there that to buy them as the default option in 2024 shows a little bit of laziness. I also think that the humble garden clog has been ignored for years, it tends to be cheaper, often times more versatile, and maybe even…cooler? Now I know that’s not enough to sell you on that but I think you should at least consider it as an option.
If you aren’t feeling the gardening clog trend, I still think you need some type of clog or mule. As a dad, I’ve learned how much time and energy you save by being able to slide your foot into something while wrestling a toddler or taking out the trash. You want something that it useable, but that also looks good enough that you’d be comfortable wearing them to grab a cup of coffee if you had to.
I’ve drafted up a list from $ to $$$ that includes clogs & mules, all made from a variety of materials from humble hemp (!!!) to gorgeous leather. I stand by these so much that I’m actually recommending three pairs that I own myself. Here are my choices with my excellent & definitive commentary, along with all the links on where to buy them:
For some of you, you do not need to keep scrolling — YOU HAVE ARRIVED AT YOUR SUMMER CLOG OF CHOICE. I think the Dylan is the most attractive (perhaps the only attractive) offering from Crocs and at $55 you really cannot go wrong. Believe it or not, I even like all the color offerings they have online. Huh. Growth! Even if you opt for these as opposed to the standard Crocs that your questionably patriotic grandfather wears religiously, you’ve already taken steps forward to diversify your style and that is a win in my book.
French Recycled Hemp Garden Clogs - $58
I like these because they’re sort of weird. You like them because they’re made in France with hemp and plastic mix and that now gives you something to talk about when you’re trying to differentiate yourself from everyone else at the picnic. At $58 they are super accessible, but they are currently out of stock everywhere which means that they’re popular (and for good reason). These look good enough that you might be able to sneak them into a more formal setting, maybe a date night even. The only downside is you don’t have a choice of color, but this tan / brown is actually really cool and unique compared to everything else on this list. Set up notification alert if you want these and be quick to cop.
You might find these exact clogs online under 3-4 different names as it seems like no one knows exactly what to call them which explains the ambiguous ‘European garden clog’ name. These excite me for a few reasons, the first being the molded cork insert which will mold to your foot with time. The second is the fact that they’re made of polyurethane means you can hose them off if they get dirty. Finally, you have some great colors to choose from although this navy one is my personal favorite. These might not be the prettiest of the bunch, but they check off all the boxes for cheap.
Have you watched The Bear? Yeah? Well you’re never going to be able to cook that well or look as cool as Jeremy Allen White does. What you can do though is cosplay a chef lifestyle by wearing these Super-Birkis out and about. These have a legendary reputation amongst chefs and nurses, two professions where you’re on your feet all day in messy situations. If you can’t take my word for it, at least trust our hardworking food & medical service professionals as they fill the reviews of these clogs online. These are my personal fav pic for the sub-$100 price range. [Note: In the show, Jeremy actually doesn't wear these but instead the Birkenstock Tokio Super Grip, another excellent choice albeit for a bit more money.]
I own this pair myself and I wear them almost everyday, whether to grab a coffee or take out the trash or run an errand. I’ve even worn them to more formal settings with jeans and they sit in such a way that people kept asking me ‘Hey where did you get those boots?’ only to be shocked to see that I had been wearing slip on clogs the whole time. I don’t know much about Seavees beyond these, and I also bought these through an instagram ad, and they were also 50% off but I love them so much that I would have paid full-price for these, and probably will if and when these give out on me. I bought them in black.
I also own this pair! Me and my siblings and wife all bought these around ALD’s Black Friday sale for roughly $40. Personally, I love these just as much as the Seavees but for different reasons. These are wider in the foot, similar to Birkenstock Bostons, which might be a selling point for some people. I also love the cork insole and it has been slowly molding to my foot as I wear them more. My only complaint is while the Seavees are flexible, these are made of a much stiffer and beefier EVA / rubber mix. If you want something that feels like it can hold up to daily wear and tear while also being from a brand that currently culturally relevant, these might be your best bet.
Duke and Dexter Winston Mule - $200
It just hit me that there is a +$100 jump from in my list, like I’ve ignored anything in the $100 to $199 range. Huh. Maybe that’s a good thing? Maybe it’s God / the universe / the force / fate telling you to stop being broke and splurge a little. Maybe. Anyways — these are pebbled leather, lined with shearling, and have a sick buckle on the strap…what more could you need? I don’t even need to justify these. You’re going to just instantly look more attractive when you put those on. People will finally respect you. That girl that you asked out is going to say yes. Maybe. What do I know?
Blundstone Leather Clog - $230
Blundstones need no introduction; they’re loved by literally everyone in the world. People hike in them, work in them, make cool graphics in them — they are the universally accepted footwear make of choice for all people, regardless of income, race, or gender. The boots have a reputation for comfort and reliability and these clogs seem to keep that legacy going. These are like a beefed up Super-Birki. Now, are they worth more than twice the price of the Birkis? ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE THAT FOR YOURSELF (BUT I THINK THEY ARE, AND I AM IN CONTROL HERE). I know the price point is high, but I think you’re getting something you’ll be able to wear consistently for years to come.
3Sixteen 20th Anniversary Mule - $265
I own this pair of mules in suede and I absolutely love them. I’ve worn them everywhere, and I’ve done everything in them from walks with my daughter to wearing them as I build our dinner table. They hold up. I think the cork bed is infinitely more comfortable than the one you’d fine in a pair of Birkenstocks, and that’s saying a lot. What I love about this pair specifically is the Vibram commando sole and the limited Horween leather (Google both of those names if you don’t know them), two brands that have proven their worth for being reliable and long-lasting. And the best part? If the sole ever gives out, you can go and get these resoled. Done deal.
…these are weird man. But in a really good way. When I look at these I feel the same feeling as when I saw that scene in Alien where the creature bursts out of the guy’s chest for the first time — I cannot turn my eyes away and I’m also a little scared. These are like if a Croc clog went to FIT and did a really dangerous diet for a few years in order to get that high-fashion look. These look like if you put offload tires on a Prius. Is any of this convincing you? I don’t know if I’m convincing myself right now. All I know is that I want these so badly and you should too. Will people look ay us weird for it? Yeah, but those people didn’t just spend $315 on clogs, so…also I think these are women’s clogs??? WHO CARES.
I feel a lot of things about these. The $600 price tag is high, yeah, but Feit doesn’t make footwear, Feit makes art. This is one of the few brands that I know of where the pair of shoes are still made by hand, by one person from start to finish. If you peep their site and read through some of the details put into their offerings, you’re going to be amazed at how much thought goes into a product when a company truly cares about making the best possible item regardless of price point. For $600, you can rest assured that these will stick around for the rest of your life (and if they need repairs, Feit has a notoriously great customer service & offers repairs through the legendary Goods & Services in LA). You are investing in something made to last indefinitely. If you have the $$$ to do so, or if you are willing to save up for them, these might be the very best clogs that you could possibly buy.
So go! Be different! Burn your current Crocs and Birks and treat yourself to something new and special. Oh, and if you haven’t already…
Super Burkis might be my new house(apt) shoes